Description

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A teen girl searches for closure after her brother dies by suicide in this breathtaking novel for “fans of Erika L. Sánchez’s I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter and Sarah Everett’s How to Live without You” (Booklist, starred review).

Karmen is about to start her last year of high school, but it’s only been six weeks since her brother, Julian, died by suicide. How is she supposed to focus on school when huge questions loom: Why is Julian gone? How could she have missed seeing his pain? Could she have helped him?

When a blowup at school gets Karmen sent home for a few weeks, life gets more complicated: things between her parents are tenser than ever, her best friend’s acting like a stranger, and her search to understand why Julian died keeps coming up empty.

New friend Pru both baffles and comforts Karmen, and there might finally be something happening with her crush, Isaiah, but does she have time for either, or are they just more distractions? Will she ever understand Julian’s struggle and tragedy? If not, can she love—and live—again?

About the Author

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Janice Lynn Mather is a Bahamian Canadian author. Her first novel, Learning to Breathe, was a Governor General’s Award finalist, a Sheila A. Egoff Children’s Literature Prize finalist, shortlisted for the Amy Mathers Teen Book Award, an ALA/YALSA Best Fiction for Young Adults selection, an Amelia Bloomer Book List pick, and a Junior Library Guild Selection. Her second novel, Facing the Sun, was an Amy Mathers Teen Book Award winner. Where Was Goodbye? is her third novel for teens. Janice Lynn lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Praise For…

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* "Readers will enjoy the book’s satisfying plot and thematic endings. Hand to fans of Erika L. Sánchez’s I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter (2017) and Sarah Everett’s How to Live without You (2022), whether they enjoyed the mystery, the mental-health focus, or the true-to-life voices." 
— Booklist, STARRED Review

"Mather writes about depression and anxiety without judgment, and her depiction of Karmen’s survivor’s guilt...is handled with considerable nuance and empathy. A moving look at a sister’s flawed, heartfelt attempts to heal in the wake of emotional devastation."
— Kirkus Reviews

"A unique and necessary view of teenage mourning."
— School Library Journal